The New Sex Game He'll Love

Some women actually like watching sports on television, and in recent years, I've become one of them. I used to be an archetypal sports widow who didn't know the difference between Deion Sanders and Dennis Rodman, but now I've fallen madly in love with the NFL and the NBA, not to mention the PGA, the NHL, the NCAA and MLB. It's not the thrill of victory (or the agony of defeat, for that matter) that excites me. It's the connection between pro sports, gambling and torrid sex.

Don't get me wrong: I'm not talking about anything illegal, or even immoral. I'm talking about a wholesome family game you can play at home with your partner. (Well, not that wholesome. But to take a line from Rodman himself, "It's only as bad as you wanna be.") The gambling is strictly between you and your mate, and the pro sports are on your very own TV set.

I found out about this game by accident a couple of years ago when I was half-watching a fairly boring football game with my friends Hank and Helen. I couldn't imagine why they were both riveted to the screen as the match entered the fourth quarter with a score of 6 to 3.

"We're going to kick your butt, Hank," said Helen, with a kind of wicked glee.

"Don't be so sure," Hank muttered. "I'd say the butt in question is still up for grabs."

"What are you guys talking about?" I demanded. "Do you have money on this game?"

"Not money," they said in unison. Both began to giggle.

"Should I tell her?" Helen asked Hank.

"In the kitchen," he said.

Once Helen and I got into the girl-talk zone, she confided that they did indeed have a bet. And what a bet it was: If Helen's team lost, she would wind up tied to their bed, blindfolded, while Hank did...well, she didn't go into what Hank would do, but I could imagine. And if Hank's team lost, he would have to fulfill Helen's erotic fantasy.

Helen gave me a sly look. "To be honest, this is one game you really can't lose."

I couldn't wait for the next Sunday. My husband would be back from his business trip, and for once I'd have something to tell him about football.

It doesn't have to be football, no sirree. Basketball, baseball, golf, soccer -- whatever sport he's watching can get the ball rolling all the way to your bedroom. All you do is select a contest and make a bet on the outcome. Hockey season? You pick the Philadelphia Flyers; he picks the Boston Bruins. Wimbledon? You take Pete Sampras; he gets Andre Agassi. Or vice versa. Once sides have been taken, each person chooses the bounty he or she will claim from the penalty list. One spouse's reward is the other's penalty, but as Helen pointed out, it often feels as though you're winning either way.

You each can pick a different penalty, or you can have the same stake. In some cases, the final score determines the length of the penalty -- for example, if your pick wins by 20 points, you get a 20-minute massage. (For games that are typically close, you should agree on a duration beforehand, since a two-minute rubdown won't do much for anybody.)

Once you get going, you'll find the wagering-for-nooky idea infinitely extendable. If there's nothing on TV, for instance, the premise works just as well with Scrabble and other scoring-based table games (though the last time my husband beat me by 80 points in Scrabble, I found myself pretty busy for quite a while). You can bet on election results, the correct spelling of a word or how much the neighbors will get for their house.

You may be very surprised by the penalties your partner selects, even if you think you know what he likes in bed. (Who knew he wanted to be the one wearing the French-maid uniform?) But this is one of the ways this game can change things between you for the better. It opens the door to a much freer, much wilder kind of communication than you've had before.

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